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Bus.....Tum Ko Paana Hai
( Last Part )
It hurts to love someone ......
" Welcome Miss.Kashish Ali. It's so very nice to see you here lady. " The man in his late fifties left his chair to welcome her.
" Thank you sir, the feeling is mutual "
" Make yourself comfortable please. "
" Thank you Sir. " Kashish said in a uniform, formal voice as she took her chair opposite to his.
" I certainly feel well-honoured that I'm talking to the youngest lady CSP officer of Pakistan ever. You've done the great job. " He smiled, staring at the young twenty two year old girl who had done so much in such a little age.
" Thank you sir. The honour is certainly great for sure. "
" So how're you feeling ? " The old man said, folding the document on the table and removing his glasses.
" Great, but at the same time, more responsible than ever. " She managed to say.
" You should. Your first posting is in the department of Housing and Finance, and it sure is a tough job. " He folded his bony hands on the desk and waited to hear her response.
" Yes Sir, I can understand. "
The man nodded in approval, then pressed a button on his intercom.
" Yes, give my message to Mrs.Sumaira. " He told someone, then put down the receiver.
Just with in few seconds, the door opened and a graceful lady in her mid-thirties entered the room.
" This is Mrs.Sumaira Ahsan, she would show you your office and the arrangements. " He told her in a thick, formal voice.
" So shall we go now Miss.Kashish ? " The lady asked with a sober smile.
" Oh yes, sure. "
" Best of luck, Miss.Kashish " The man gave her an encouraging smile.
Her new office was glamourous, huge and awesome, Kashish realized as the older woman guided her through the various portions of the office.
For the rest of the day, Mrs.Sumaira showed Kashish what she would have to do in the office, and, though assured that the job wasn't ardous, by six o' clock Kashish was in no mood to agree. Apart from taking countless telephone calls, she was expected to deal with tons of files, the matters with ministry of finance and the other pure official matters.
" Scary ? " Mrs.Ahsaan finally asked, when they both got some time to relax.
" Not exactly. " Kashish took a deep breath. " I'm wondering how to handle this job which seems to be pure "male" sort of nature."
" Yeah it is. We were pretty surpised to know that the Government selected a twenty two year old girl for this highly responsible post. But let me say Miss.Kashish, when I saw your results, read details of your interview, I admired their choice. " Mrs.Sumaira smiled, she looked truly impressed.
" Thanks again " She said sincerely. " So when to join ? "
" From tomorrow " Mrs. Sumaira said, then smiling, she added, " The holidays are over "
It was her third working day in her office when something really unexpected happened, but she was not the only one who was not expecting this to happen.
" Hope they'll solve my problem Insha'Allah " Sameer thought as he parked his maroon Honda Accord outside the huge building of Ministry of Hosuing and Finance. He was so deeply lost in his thoughts that he didn't even read the name of the director as he went through the glass door labelled " Kashish Salman Ali, Executive Director of Housing and Finance"
As he stepped inside the luxurious office, he saw a woman behind the large, glassy office table. Her face was hidden behind the file she was reading.
" Ahemm hmm, Assalaam-O-Alaikum " He cleared his throat to draw her attention.
Hearing his voice, the lady put her file down.
It was like a flash, an electric flash, which spread currents through their bodies.
His beats ceased in recognition.
Her breaths stopped in realization.
His pulses quickened in appreciation.
Her nerves tingled in anticipation.
Behind the large, glass office
table, she sat. Yes, she was none other than Kashish. His eyes grew wider and he stared
at her without blinking
Dressed in a plain, expensive full-sleeved white kurta and shilwar with matching broad Dupatta, she looked more graceful and lovelier than ever. And above all, that broad black scarf on her head gave her personality a unique, modest and an awesome touch.
He immediately turned away, without glancing at her again. He was about to pass the threshold when he heard her saying some thing.
" Mr.Sameer " Her voice gripped his feet. " If you wanted to meet " Kashish" you can sure leave the place, if you want. But if you had a meeting with ' Director of Finance and Housing ', I'm here. " Her words were wonderful, confident and very-matter-of-fact.
Slowly, he turned back to face her once again. For few moments, he said nothing. Then shaking his head he moved toward her table.
" Have a seat please " She said confidently.
He obeyed her silently.
" Nice to meet you here. What can I do for you ? " She said politely, a sober smile decorated her face as she spoke.
" Aw...well, I thought you already got my application. Our problem has come up with our accommodation. " His gaze flickered over her face and then briefly on the file present on the table.
" Oh yes, I remember now. But I didn't know it was you. " She said evenly.
" Does it make any difference. " He laughed sarcastically, turning his face in a primitive gesture of dislikeness.
" Not professionally but emotionally yes, it does. " She took off her glasses, as her chin came to rest on her closed, mingled fists.
" I see. What's more important for you ? " Suddenly he looked deep into her eyes. Peircing, thrusting, injurious, his gaze was dangerous.
" Profession for CSP officer, and emotions for Kashish Ali. " She said in a firm voice, her nostrils gently flared as she spoke.
" Aahaan. So I'm meeting with a " CSP Officer " now, right ? " He asked in a thick, harsh voice, a wounded smile playing on his lips.
" Right now and right here, Yes. "
" Like always, you change your standards according to the place and circumstances. I knew it. " He gave her a hard look.
" We all change Mr.Sameer. Essence is the same though. "
He said nothing, just looked down at his hands, thinking some thing.
" I read your file in detail. " She opened the drawer of her table then picked up a red file. " I can suggest some alternatives if you like. " She set her smart, sober frame back on her nose and opened the file.
" I hate alternatives "
" Do you ? " This time it was her turn to give him a frank, brave smile.
Her expression and meaningful remark made him uncomfortable.
" Anyways. In case you consider, I have this large and nice house in my area. The owner is leaving the place and is willing to sell it in the earnest. "
He didn't reply, though his face showed he was listening to her.
She looked down, watching him through her lashes, wishing she knew him better, understood him, could guess what he was thinking.
" I'm supervising their matter too. And I do know that you changed your house few weeks ago. I can understand your problem at a new place and in a changed atmosphere, specially when you have a little child like...... " She caught her tongue at the last moment.
Why she was getting personal ? When she had called herself professional.
" Who is the owner ? " He asked suddenly.
" Well.... " She stopped for a moment, as if searching for the right words. " We were the owners, but now a rich industrialist owns it. "
" What do you mean ? " He couldn't believe what he was hearing.
" We sold our Salman Villa about a month back. " She finally told him the shocking news.
" Why the hell........ " He couldn't say more.
She didn't reply either.
" But why ? Why uncle and aunty left that great place ?" His voice was husky, his tone painful.
" We didn't need a big house now. That place had now started to bite us. " Despite of all of her efforts, water began to flow in her eyes. " Besides, after Abbo's shattered business, we needed money too "
" But why you didn't tell me ? " The words were out before he could stop them. He hated himself for saying so.
" Tell whom ? You ? " She laughed quietly. " I guess the last time my parents saw you was about a year back, right ? "
He lowered his head, feeling truly embarrassed and ashamed of himself at the moment. His dispute was with Kashish, not with his uncle and aunty.
" Anyway " She closed the file casually. " Hope you could atleast think about what I said. I dare say, I can do something for you. " She added in a calm tone.
" How much he's demanding ? " He asked, now looking directly into her eyes.
" About sixty lacs "
" Oh, that's too much. I don't have so much money " He let out a long, tired breath that clearly showed his disappointment.
" But atleast you can try ? " She glanced into his eyes, trying to find any hint of ambition. Her own eyes were twinkling with hope.
I wish, just I hope he could buy our old, beloved house. So that it won't belong to "others" now. She thought painfully.
A pause. She forced herself to wait.
" Okay, thanks. I'd think about that. " Breathing a long sigh, he stood up. Then glancing at her for the last time, he walked towards the office door.
Her eyes went after him, viewing his manly back and strong shoulders. He still wore his special old perfume. She could remember that. Despite of the lovely perfume, he had that typical air of masculinity which never seemed to leave him, always surrounding him in its magical circle.
Then something happened.
He turned back. He had to tell her this, if he was honest with himself. He couldn't control himself then.
She was still staring at him.
His eyes met hers, then started a bold battle.
His won.
" Well. Just in case if you don't know.... " He tried to say.
" Jee ? "
" This scarf looks good on your head "
And then, he was gone again, setting a pace that was surely against the laws and principles of her professionalism.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
" Hey Samia, how're you doing kitten ? " Anita gave a superior grin to the girl standing at the doorway.
The girl was in her early twenties with fair complexion and short dyed hair. She wore a white T-shirt and fitting blue jeans, which showed every curve of her body.
" Nothing. Just enjoying a typical Miami morning. " She tried to smile.
" Yeah, its about to rain." Anita threw a glance at the clouded sky. " You know baby, I just love it when it's pouring. "
" Hmmm " Samia said and lowered her head.
" So, excited for tonight ? " Anita asked excitedly.
" Not really. "
" Hey honey come on. What's the matter, huh ?" Anita asked, now looking directly into the eyes of younger girl.
" I... I don't know how to dance. "
" Nothing to it, Samia. Just takes practice. Hell, you can learn it, too.
" My..... my parents won't allow "
" Why the shit they won't ? Don't they trust you? "
" It's a long story. " Samia took a long breath. " I was brought up to be so prudish. A typical goody-goody girl. Unfortunately my parents are a bit narrow minded. "
" But why the hell they're ??? "
" Come on. Like you wont know. They're Pakiz yaar. " Samia told her with sheer embarrassment.
" I don't get you. Okay, I'm muslim too, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't enjoy the life. Come on yaar, don't be so conservative. "
" Its tough. "
" Nothing is tough, gal....... " Anita said emotionally.
" This is AMERICA my babe. Be what you're. Enjoy the life to its fullest. You've every right to do what you want. No one's gonna stop you here." Finishing her sentence, Anita took a little pause to see her effect on the younger girl's face.
Samia bit her lips, like she was trying to come to a certain conclusion.
" Come on, baby ... come on! Loosen up! " Anita was near her success.
" Okay " Samia took a long breath and finally smiled. " What's the program ? "
" Not much, hehe" Anita giggled. " A dance party with some delicious chicks, then some movies. The movies are a little spicy " She pressed her left eye naughtily.
" Okay, you've my word now. I would try my best to make it out."
" Thanks deary " Anita gave a light peck on her cheek. " I'm sure you're gonna love it as much as I do . "
" And hey... " Suddenly a warning tone came in Anita's voice. " For God sake don't come in your Paki cloths. This is West man. Didn't you see how people were making fun of you when you wore your stupid shilwar qameez that day . "
" Don't worry. It was a mistake. I now wear Paki cloths only at the weddings and religious occasions. " Samia smiled.
" That's my girl, hehe " Anita chuckled.
" Hiya, you two. Wassup ? Another feminine voice grabbed their attention.
They both turned to see a smiling blonde in a well-cut mini skirt.
She was Linda.
" Oh baby, G'day. Meet Samia, she's new here. Her family moved to States just a couple of years ago. "
" Hi honey . " Linda hugged Samia, lightly kissing her lightly on the cheek.
" Nice to meet you . " Samia smiled shyly.
" Same here, golly you're a pretty thing. Isn't she Anita ?" Linda grinned lively.
" Yes she is, after all she's my pal. " Anita laughed, then asked, " So what you've been doing lately ? "
" Not much. What about you sugar? How's you boy friend going. That guy from Queens, umm I forgot his name..." Linda tried to remember but her couldn't.
" Sabeeh Khan " Anita said harshly, making a bad mouth.
" Oh yeah. How's he ? "
" That bastard! Gosh. He thinks of me as a sixties sex godess or something "
" Eeewwww. What happened ? " Linda asked. " As far as I remember, you two were getting along pretty fine with each other. "
" Yeah, things were all right for a while, but they ... they dropped off."
" But you still date him, don't you? "
" Yeah he's behind me all the time like a fat puppy. Asking for another date. I don't know how to get rid of him." Anita's voice became colder.
" Ah, tell him it's the wrong part of the month" Linda winked naughtily.
" Shut up Linda. I'm damn serious. " Anita hissed in an angry tone." Besides... " A grin came to her lips. " It'd be a temporary excuse. "
" Did you tell Linda about your new proposal ? " Suddenly, Samia interrupted in between their conversation.
" WHAT??? Heyyyyy, you clever fox !!!!! " Linda screamed.
" Come on. Don't you know about Amir ? He proposed me. And tell you what, I'm seriously considering him. "
" Despite of knowing that he's nothing but a Good-For-Nothing son of a bitch. And how one gal has already kicked his butt. " Linda said sarcastically.
" Okay I know, he's been a little flirtatious. But atleast he's broad minded and educated. " Anita argued.
" What ? " Samia was confused. " Who kicked his ass ? "
" Ah, forget it. " Linda sighed. " She was the most wonderful gal, bravest lady in town. I never saw any gal like her. "
" Oh you mean she kicked Amir ? "
" Yeah, but why're you asking ? " Linda asked, her eyes growing wide with the colour of naughtiness. " You like him too my pet, don't you? "
" No way " Samia said harshly. " I just know him as a guy who proposed Anita. "
" He's a pure Hollywood, you better believe it " Anita said, her tone showing how much impressed she was." His face, his hair, the rest of him..... think about that, buddy " She warned her. " And you'll never sleep a wink tonight, hehe "
" But Anita you have some other proposals too, from some nice Pakistani families living in states " Samia reminded her, ignoring her remark.
" Yeah. But they're typical mom's slave guys. I hate them. No life, no activity. They're boring yaar. They would want me to change " Anita lifted a hand to brush her black shoulder- length hair carelessly.
" So ? " Samia was confused. " I mean if they want some positive change, what's the big deal then ? "
" Yeah yeah whatever. I am who I am. I can't change myself for anyone. " Anita shrugged her shoulders, taking the cigarette case out of her jean's pocket.
Linda suddenly burst out laughing.
" Why're you laughing, you stupid ? " Anita yelled.
" Nothing. Your sentence just reminded me of some one."
" Oh your mean, her ? " Anita bent her head to show the flame to her cigarette.
" Yeah. "
" Oh my God. You two're driving me crazy. WHO WAS SHE ?" Samia shouted. It was not fair at all. They were not telling her the name of some popular girl. She hated this suspense and wanted to know.
Anita opened her mouth to blow a thick smoky puff then answered her,
" Her name was Kiran.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
" Make yourself comfortable, please" Mrs.Hasan smiled, motioning her toward the sofa. " Meanwhile I'll call him. Actually he just got back from his job and is now offering Isha prayers "
" Oh no problem Aunty. I'd wait for him. I'm pretty comfortable here " Kiran smiled back. " I just love these paintings." She added, as she wandered around the spacious room admiring the paintings on the walls.
" One of Sameer's old passions. He's a great fan of art. " Mrs. Hasan told her.
" Yes, art of all kinds . " Kiran said under her lip.
" Did you say something ? "
" Oh nopes. I was saying, these works are just wonderful. " Kiran smiled again.
" Thank you daughter, now I'm going to inform him about you " Mrs.Hasan repeated and then left the dining hall.
Kiran turned back, still standing and waited.
She felt something strange. Her heart beat and her breaths had acquired a fast pace for some unknown reason.
She had waited a long time for this very moment. And now here she was, waiting for him again. These moments seemed to be the time of her life.
And then, with the approaching sounds of heavy but steady steps, she guessed the approaching figure was of a man. He was coming in her direction.
Footsteps came closer.
She stiffened, but tried to keep herself calm.
As she threw a final look on the fabulous land-scape painting in front of her, from the corner of her eye she saw a broad-shouldered man on the far side of the dining hall.
She would know those shoulders anywhere, Kiran thought.
" Aadaab" He said gently, softly, slowly, carefully and respectfully. His voice was as soft as silk.
A voice which had the power to raise the hair on the back of one's neck.
Kiran turned.
Her heart did a flip-flop as she recognized Sameer. She could recognize him in billions.
She was used to good-looking men but standing beside her, elegant in plain white shirt and black pants, was a man to inspire poetry. Dark black eyes, wildly shining black hair, tanned skin, full mouth and a perfect height. A nice and neat frame-less glasses on his nose gave him a sober, experienced touch.
His hair was wet from the fresh wazoo. With a one-day old thick shave, and a tweedy black jacket which was slung over his shoulder, he didn't look formal at all. Nothing really fashionable or trendy about him. But that was his quality. To produce ' rareness ' in ' common ' things.
" Salaam Alakum " Words left her mouth automatically, as she stared at him.
" How're you ? " He asked in a low voice.
There was an authority in the way he stood, in the tilt of his head as he spoke. He was neither the typical young father she'd expected nor anything like the younger Sameer.
' I'm... fine . " She said with difficulty.
" Please, sit down. " He pointed toward the sitting arrangements.
" Oh thanks " Blankly, fighting with her annoying self, she moved to the nearby sofa. As she sat down, Sameer took his seat on the front sofa, exactly opposite to where she sat.
While she was sitting, he, for the first time, got a chance to study her closely.
His eyes became wide as he stared.
She wore a plain, sea-green, cotton jumper shilwar with dark green Dupatta which
covered her upper front broadly. She had shown remarkable constraint in her use of
cosmetics, adding only some blusher to her cheekbones, eyeliner, and a touch of light
brown lipstick.
She was wearing heels and very nearly matched him for height.
Her face was as pretty and prominent as ever. Her walnut-shaped eyes were large and expressive, enhanced by the hint of some strange sadness in their depths.
As they both sat down, she got another chance to study him closely. Yes, this Sameer Hasan did look some what different than the Sameer Hasan she'd met few years ago.
" You've changed. " Her words left her tongue swiftly but fast. Admiration was clearly evident in her expression.
He laughed.
" Why Laughing? Did I say something funny ? "
" No. " His laughter changed into a wonderful smile as he stared at her. " Actually you're the first person who said that. Otherwise, I always hear people saying that I never change. "
" Come on Linda, men don't change, do they ? Not once they get over thirty " She remembered her arguement with Linda on the same topic.
She smiled back in silence.
" By the way, by "change" you meant my " looks ", right ? " Sameer raised his left eyebrow in a primal gesture of inquiry.
" Ah, well that too. But I hope this change is not limited to " looks " only. "
" Ah. " He sighed. " You now talk complicatedly"
" And you now talk easily "
She grinned.
" Acha " Her remark elicited a
smile which softened the angles of his face, making him look more than attractive.
" And what about my side, do you notice any change at all ? Curiosity overtook Kiran's expression.
" Ah, certainly lady. It's been a privilege seeing you like this in your ' original ' form. " He smiled. " And you look positively reborn. " He added adoringly, peering at her through his sober spectacles.
" But you're getting too thin. What have you been doing to yourself ? " Sameer asked with a tone of concern.
" I'm not thin, just fashionably slim. " She protested.
" Alright, if you say so. " He laughed gently
After few moments of killing silence, he finally asked.
" Enjoying your time in Pakistan ? "
" Yes, very much so. "
" Been here long ? "
" Oh I've only just arrived. About a week ago. " Kiran lowered her head, staring at her neatly trimmed nails.
" And where're you staying at ? "
" My Dad's cousin lives in Karachi. Not very far from here. "
" I see. " He took a long breath. " So enjoying your stay ? "
" Very much, for sure. " Her smile was wonderful and that's why suited her personality too.
" You look good in glasses. " Her words left her mouth before she sould think.
" And look bad without glasses ? " A teasing tone crept into his voice.
" Nopes, may be even better " Kiran's sentence matched his.
He laughed, then murmured, " Thank you "
Again a long silence, which lasted for minutes.
" Oh well, you know what, your mom is just so graceful. " Atlast, she managed to say some thing.
" Thanks again " He laughed softly. She saw his even, white teeth.
" So what are you upto now? " He asked in a plain voice and simple tone.
" Beg your pardon ? "
" I mean what you've been doing back in states and what're your future plans ? " He explained.
" I've established a Pakistani school in N.J. Besides that, I'm preparing for the thesis of my Doctorate degree "
" Which kind of school is this, religious? " He inquired.
" Not really " She smiled. " It's a primary school, but different from other schools out there, as besides studies, we mainly concentrate on Eastern traditions and culture " Said Kiran. " As for religious school, I'd have to make myself a model religious lady first " She smiled.
" I absolutely agree " He murmured.
" But that's my next project. Hopefully, with the help of Allah, I'm planning to launch a unique Islamic school too. " She said firmly, her voice filled with an expression of determination.
" That's awesome" He was clearly impressed. " You told me about your thesis. Which topic you have selected ? "
" Transgenerational effects of intercontinental migration"
He laughed as she spoke.
" Why this laughing now? " She looked puzzled. Why he was laughing so much today ? Was he really happy after meeting her or was it just superficial?
" If you remember we argued over the same topic. "
" Yes I liked that. " Her reply had an expression of honesty and impression of likeness.
" Arguement or the topic ? " He raised his left brow, a teasing smile matched his tone.
" Both " This time it was her turn to laugh, as she answered him.
" Sameer baita, tea is ready " They heard his mother's voice from somewhere in the house.
" Right Ammi, we'll be there in a minute . " Sameer turned his head to reply.
" Hmmm " He let out a long breath. " Would you like to see my study ? "
" Sure, my pleasure " She grinned soberly, then followed him as he moved towards the other portion of the well-decorated house.
" Marvelous " Kiran commented, crossing the small square hall and following him into the study room. Her eyes took in the several beautiful pieces of antique furniture.
" Hey, I just hope I didn't make you bore or something. " Sameer asked, turning his face towards her.
" Not at all. " She shook her head finely. " It's been an honour actually. Meeting you after such a long time is just wonderful. " She said, as they both took their seats in the wide library room.
" So how did you find my address ?" He enquired, staring at her across the table which was present between them.
" I told you. My dad's cousin lives in your neighbourhood. His son, Shaheryaar helped me finding your house. " Kiran raised the pure white steaming tea cup of fine china in her right hand, brushing her hair with the other.
" I see. So how's America ? these days I mean "
" Cold " She sipped the tea with perfect sophistication.
" I thought so too. You live
there alone? "
" Eternally single, that's me." Brushing her hair over one shoulder, she gave him a genuine
smile.
" Why ? "
" Ah, well never got what I wanted. Besides..... " A sort of naughty smile came to her lips as she completed her sentence." I'll be an old maid soon. "
" I don't think so " He clearly refused her comment about herself.
" Acha, what do you think then ? " Her smile became bold, wild and dangerous.
" I.... well nothing " He tried hard to resist from getting into her obcessional trance.
" What do you want for yourself ? " He suddenly asked.
" You.... " Words slipped away before she could think.
" What ? "
" You.... knew I guess. "
" Knew what ? " He was confused.
" About my expectations and ideal " She lifted a hand to push her hair back off her face.
" How could I ? You never told me. " He smiled.
" Well, okay " She smiled slowly. " Just search a simple, family-oriented guy for me, who's been raised in Pakistan. One, who could speak wonderful urdu and loves his religion, culture and motherland. "
He smiled but said nothing.
" Why smile ? Do I expect too much ? "
" No. Your expectations are simple and nice. No doubt about that " He sipped his tea with delicate movement.
" And yes, the guy should be an ' inventive ' sort of a man, in ' every ' aspect, I mean " She gave him another naughty smile.
His brows rose on her comment. He smiled back in silence.
" A man.... " She continued, " With whom I would like to share my life: someone whose integrity I would never doubt, whose faithfulness I could take on trust. In short, a man of honour. " Her face had now acquired the most serious expression.
" Or to be more exact " She finally added " A man like " you " !! "
" Well " He sighed, then threw a brief glance on her face. " Though Masha'Allah, I dont see anything western in your looks, acts and gestures now, still I dont think that a guy like me would be appropriate for you. "
" Why do you say that ? " Her question was rapid.
" Still, many differences like... " He stopped, searching for the right words to explain himself. " You can't blame me for being out off. I mean what future is there for us? You're one of the super-rich and I'm an ordinary guy economically."
" I'm still Kiran. " Her response was spontaneous. " For goodness' sake don't let my stupid money come between us. "
" Well, but you shouldn't spoil your future. I mean I'm a widower, a thirty-two year old father of a little girl "
" So what ? " She said thickly. " Still this ' widower' is much... much better than many so called ' virgin ' guys I know. " She was determined to argue on every point he raised.
" Acha " He smiled softly. " Anyways, I'm glad you're here "
" Yes " She sighed, keeping the tea-cup on the table. " Only now I realized that Pakistan was the centre of my dreams, I always loved it, adored it. I was just not prepared to admit it before. "
" I appreciate you for that. " He looked at her thoughtfully. " How do you see Pakistan. I mean if I ask you to define it in two words, would it be tough for you ? " His question was deep but she smiled.
" A land of sacrifice " She said with confidence. " I wish I could give some sacrifice for this land. But tell me, do we always need to give sacrifice to express our love ? "
" Hmmm " He looked at her with pure admiration. It was true, this Kiran who sat in front of him was not the one he had left in Florida. She was much different now. Not just in looks, but in every thing.
" Actually, I personally think that love is another name of Sacrifice. " But before he could say further, his own sentence brought him back to those sweet memories.
A twelve-year-old
girl was telling him something.
" I remember grand mother once told me that those who have sacrificed their lives for
our country, for the love they had for it, they now live in heavens, above all. It means
they have raised themselves above all, don't you think? "
" Hey, I didn't know my question was so difficult that you're taking so long to answer, hehe " Kiran's voice made him realize who he was and where he was.
" Oh " He smiled sadly. " I was thinking some thing. "
" Thumhari ghar bhoot achi hei " Suddenly Kiran's voice, accent and tone shocked him, surprised him. And above all what surprised him most was the language she speaking in. Yes, she had said the sentence in ' urdu '.
" I can't believe you said that" Sameer gasped.
" Why ? Did I say something wrong ? "
" No. It's.... it's...so cute, just so wonderful. You speaking urdu I mean. Wow "
" Were there any mistakes ? If yes, then can you please correct ? " Kiran asked in a worried tone.
" Not really " He smiled. " But it should be like, " Tumhara ghar buhut acha hai "
" Thanks. " She smiled lively. " I've been taking Urdu classes and am determined to learn it. "
" I'm sure you'll learn it fast, Insha'Allah. "
" I hope so " She wished, then said, " You know, I just love the way you speak urdu. And I adore the way you read it, specially when you tell all those beautiful stanzas of Urdu poetry in your typical style . "
" That's nothing unique of me. Lots of Pakistani men can do that. Anyways, thank you " He thanked her with a sober smile.
Again a long pause. A steady silence. No one was not looking at the other, and yet knew the condition of the other.
" So why this sudden change ? what makes you change your decision ? " She asked, noticing his classical straight nose and the generous curves of his mouth and brows.
" Which decision ? " He asked, giving her a look which contained confusion.
" Aunty told me, you're now ready for the second marriage. "
" Because it's become enough. I'm tired out. " His voice gave her the proof of what he was saying. He looked tired too. She had never seen him look even reomotely weary before, but there seemed to be lines of strain around his face that she couldn't fail to see.
" I didn't think you could tire. I imagined you were automatic. " She stared at him. His chest hair visible in the V of his shirt.
The words just came out without thought and she flushed with embarrassment as soon as they had left her tongue. He laughed, though, the sound bubbling up in his throat.
" Insult or praise? I'm not sure how to take that "
" I'm not sure why I said it. I don't normally make personal remarks. " Kiran felt sudden embarrassment.
" You don't normally make remarks at all." He was watching her closely. " But you're different tonight "
" I hope different in positive way ? " She said while giving him a look that wanted his confirmation.
" Ofcourse " He said, as he sipped the last of his tea.
It would have been nice to show him that she too, could inspire personal loyality. Kiran found she wanted to impress him. Wanted his respect.
" I was sorry to hear about your wife. I feel really bad for her. I mean she was just twenty five and.... " Kiran's eyes reflected sincere grief. She tried but couldn't find the right words to show her feelings to him.
He sighed but said nothing. Though the hard and hurting expression on his face told her the untold sad story.
" Oh I forgot to tell you Sameer, " She suddenly said with a real broad smile. " Your daughter is sooo cute, so beautiful. I fell in love with her the instant I saw her."
" Yes... she is just like her aunt. " The sentence made its way before he could try his potential to stop it.
He regretted this very moment.
" What ? who ? her aunt.... who is she ? "
" She has an aunt too, younger sister of my wife. " He stole his eyes.
" Oh yeah, I remember now. " Kiran breathed. " Her name was something like Kash.... "
" Kashish "
" Oh yes. What does it mean by the way. It sounds really cool and unique. "
" It means... ' attraction '.
" Wow " Kiran exclaimed with interest.
He didn't reply this time. His eyes slid away to some distant point.
" Do you love her ? " She was sudden, her question was unexpected and her tone was shocking.
His mouth fell open, eyes became wide, like he couldn't believe his ears.
All the while, she watched him closely, deeply.
He was about to say something when the telephone bell broke the dangerous silence between them.
" Excuse me " He stood up from his place and picked up the phone.
" Sameer Hasan here "
" Oh Shahroz is this you ? " His voice became loud with excitement.
" Man how're you, long time no see yaar " He said, Kiran watched him keenly as he talked. Liking the way he expressed his surprising condition.
" Really, are you getting married ? " Sameer blinked in surprise.
" But with whom ? "
" Wow, what a co-incidence. Yeah I know Muskaan. She was a friend of my wife. Anyways, congratulations in advance."
" Don't worry, I would definitely attend the wedding in Lahore, Insha'Allah. " He added, smiling.
" And hey don't just send the card only. You too should come along with the card. " He laughed.
" Take care, see you, Allah Hafiz " Saying this, he hang up the phone.
" Your friend ? " Kiran raised her brows.
" Yeah, Shahroz Ahmed, one of the best guys. He's getting married next week, in Lahore. "
" Oh I see, must be wonderful for him " She smiled.
" Yeah for him it sure is. However, I don't know about the girl though " Sameer's face acquired a strange, weird smile.
" Who's the girl ? "
" One of my wife's friends, a very nice girl. We call her Muskaan "
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
" Try to undersand Muskaan. You should atleast see him once. " Wafa said, taking Muskaan's hand in hers.
" It doesn't matter for me now. I trust Allah, my parents and you too. All of you guys like him, so would I . " She turned her face away.
" Don't be stupid Muskaan. Okay, Shahroz Ahmed is a nice guy, but he's not "him" Wafa said, feeling really angry for this stubborn girl who happened to be her closest friend.
" What the hell do you mean by ' him " ?
" You know very well, what I meant by that " Wafa said plainly.
" Shut up Wafa. There was nothing between me and Jahanzaib ever. If there was something, it was from his side. I never ever thought of him." Muskaan replied thickly.
" Always remember my words Muskaan " Wafa sighed, her eyes glistening with deep sympathy. " It's better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than lose that someone you love with your useless pride. "
" I DON'T LOVE HIM, did you hear that? " Muskaan shouted in pure anger.
" Sorry I don't agree. You're denying yourself. Don't be so blunt with yourself Muskaan. It's the matter of your own happiness. I just don't understand why you don't accept the fact that you like him." Mushkbaar interrupted for the very first time.
" Haa, ' like him ' and me ? " She blew air from her mouth forcefully. " Phew, it would be the last and the worst thing I'd ever be doing.... humph. "
" Stubborn, bad girl. You'll destroy yourself. " Mushkbaar added.
" Yeah you're gonna hurt youself in the end. It's the matter of your whole life. Infact two lives. " Wafa was determined to convince her .
" You don't how do I feel when I face him. " Muskaan lowered her eyes.
" Okay then tell us, how do you feel ? " Wafa raised her brows.
" I feel like Red Riding Hood, "
" I see, and what do you think of him " Wafa tried her best to hide the smile which was about to come on her face.
" Big bad wolf " Muskaan said unevenly.
Wafa and Mushkbaar laughed simultaneously.
" He's a self-centered, pompous man . " Muskaan closed her fists, her voice cold, her tone harsher.
" Think again, Muskaan. He's here, you have your choice" Mushkbaar smiled meaningflly.
" What ??? who's here ? "
" Jahanzaib, ofcourse. "
" Why on earth did you invite him here ?" Muskaan felt like a totally left out little girl who was unaware of every thing.
" To attened your marriage. He really wanted so. His whole family is here." Wafa told her.
" Okay, what ever. "
" Oh Allah, Muskaan, my sister you're going to spend your whole life with a total stranger, just because you want to take revenge from Jahanzaib ?? " Mushkbaar tried her best.
" And yes, what kind of revenge is that and why ? Revenge, because he's interested in you ??" Wafa didn't give her a chance to answer Mushkbaar.
" Answer me, Muskaan. "
" Oh God.. " She screamed, keeping his hands on her ears.
" One more word from you gals and I 'm gonna do something really terrible. Get out of here. Will you , please, ? " Muskaan began to cry.
Wafa and Mushkbaar exchanged meaningful glances and then silently decided to leave her alone in the room.
" Before we go, we just wanted to inform you that be ready for shopping today. We'd be heading to Liberty in the evening, we're not done with your shopping and jewelry yet. " It was the last sentence which Mushkbaar said, then they both left her room.
" Oh Allah " She took hold of her bursting head with both of her hands. Why, why they just don't understand me ?
" And why not YOU understand some thing, hmmm ? "
It was a familiar voice.
" Huh " Trying to catch her breath, she quickly turned around to find any one standing there. But there was no one. She was alone in her own room with its closed door.
" Where did this sound come from ? " She thought, totally confused.
Only then if she could notice the fast, strong beating of her tender ' heart ', she could know the source of this sound.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
" Hello, is this Miss.Kashish speaking ? " A female voice came from the other side of the phone.
" Yes, this is Kashish Ali "
" Oh Miss.Kashish, welcome to Islamabad. When did you arrive here ?
" Just yesterday "
" So do you already know the schedule of the conference or should I brief you ? "
" Oh yes I know, thanks. But could you please tell me how long would I have to stay here in Islamabad ? "
" Miss.Kashish, just couple of days. You don't need to attend all the sessions. "
" Okay. Thanks alot. "
As she put down the receiver, she sighed loudly.
Her hands involuntary reached up to touch her cheeks. Not surprisingly, her face was wet.
Slowly, she wiped the tears off her cheeks, regaining control of herself.
I don't even realize it when I begin to cry. She thought painfully and headed towards the basin in the wash room.
She splashed cold water on her face to remove traces of tears.
I wish... I just wish this cold water could remove the tears which are present inside the human body. But in vain, it only removes external marks. She thought, as she reached the beautiful terrace of the hotel she was staying in.
Lonliness, at times, is such a wonderful companion. Some times it removes the need to see the mirror. As it, itself, is a mirror of a personality. Very clear, neat and bright.
For Kashish, this lonliness had
three consecutive phases.
Initinally it was a need for her. Then it became a habit and now this lonliness was like
an addiction for her. It had even become a leader for her, guiding her through various
circumstances , giving her the power to make various confident decisions.
But there were times, when even this lonliness seemed to bother her more than any thing else.
And then, her only companion was " his " memories.
His most recent memory was of the day when he had come to help her while Kisa had left all of them forever. The way his arms had held her, comforting and protecting her in the shocking afterwarmth of the news, had formed a bond between them that nothing could ever break.
She inhaled the sharp, clear mountain air, pine scented, edged with coldness.
The serrated outline of the Margala Hills was etched sharply against the backdrop of summer blue sky as she stepped in the terris. She lifted her gaze to the distant peaks.Their slops were lush green with thick Pine forests. The intense blueness of a cloudless sky appeared to mock the bleak propspect of her future.
She sighed, putting her her head on the hard wall behind her, she closed her eyes.
The next instant, he emerged from somewhere. He had his arms crossed over his chest and was smiling wonderfully.
She raised from her place and finally stood facing him, his wide black eyes unreadable.
Then, suddenly, his expression began to change. Next, his face became serious. And then gradually, an angry look overtook his facial expressions.
" Why did you do this to me, hmm ? " He asked harshly.
She couldn't reply. She just stared at him blankly.
There was so much pain and sorrow on his face that she couldn't see more of him.
Even his sight was hurting.
Suddenly, afraid of herself, she closed her eyes.
" I'm sorry Sameer." She said gruffly, atlast giving way to her heart.
" I don't believe I did this ... but I had to. "
Hidden birds chirped in the towering pine trees that edged the road below.
She opened her eyes.
He was not there. He was no where.
" No Sameer, No. I can't let you go like this. " She screamed in silence.
But there was no one to hear her cries, to consider her protests, to relieve her pains, to heal her wounds.
She paused a moment to draw a couple of long deep breaths of cold air. Nothing had changed, she told himself. She had only thought it might, but it hadn't, so everything was just the way it had always been. Except that now she knew what it felt like to have her heart torn out by the roots.
Stifling an uncontrollable sob, Kashish raised her fist to her mouth and shook her head violently, then broke from the terris and ran quickly to her room, shutting the door behind her.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It was eight-o-clock in the morning and Sameer was fixing breakfast when the sound of door bell interrupted his thoughts.
" Who this could be ? " He glanced at the playing figure of little Saba beside him, then left the kitchen.
" Oh you, " A long breath escaped his lungs as he opened the door, only to find the smiling face of Kiran in front of him.
" May I come in Sir ?" She asked in a tone as if he won't allow, she'd leave right from the door.
" Ofcourse, Madam " He gave way to her.
" Ummm, what are you cooking- it smells great " She sent him a wide-eyed, innocent look.
" Actually I was fixing breakfast. "
" Oh really? That's cute " She said, as she stepped past him into the living room.
" What 's cute? break fast or me ? " His smile was very meaningful.
" Aww.... you clever man. " She laughed. " Where is Aunty ? "
" She's in her room, reading newspaper. "
" Oh, let me say Salaam to her first. " Kiran said, glancing round the elegant drawing-room and smartly tossing back her mane of ash-brown hair.
She stopped outside Mrs.Hasan's room and knocked. On hearing her call, she inched the door open, peeped in and smiled before finally letting herself go in.
" Assalaam-O-Alaikum Aunty, hope I didn't disturb you at the breakfast time, though I know I have, hehe. " She laughed softly.
" Not at all. How's my daughter ? " Smiling, Mrs.Hasan took Kiran's hands in hers, as she sat beside her on the bed.
" I'm fine, Aunty, you tell me, Aap ka Tabiyat kaisa hei ?? "
" Oh so cute, hehe " Mrs.Hasan warmly pressed her hands. " You look even more cute when you talk in urdu. I'm fine baita, alhumdolillah "
" That's good. " Kiran put her hands over the elder woman's with genuine
affection.
" You know I called your parents
yesterday. Your father and mother both were really happy to talk to me. " Mrs.Hasan smiled. "
You father does know Sameer. "
" Yes, he'd met him, when we were in university. " Kiran said.
" I talked about few more things. " A meaningful smile was now playing on Mrs.Hasan's lips.
" Acha, like what ? " Kiran asked innocently.
" Hmm, like they said, they won't have any objection, if you say yes. " Mrs.Hasan's smile grew deeper.
" About what Aunty ? " At first Kiran couldn't understand what Sameer's mother wanted to tell her.
" Will you marry my son, Kiran baiti ? "
" Oh" A long gasp tore free from Kiran's throat. She felt stunned and paralyzed at her place.
After few seconds the impact of what the older woman had said, brought a rush of colour to her cheeks.
And then, without knowing what she was doing or what was happening to her, something really wonderful took place for the very first time in her life.
She wanted to say something, wished she could open her mouth, but her trembling lips refuse to help her tongue.
But at the moment, her lips were not the only things that betrayed her, as her lashes too, began to dance up and down.
Yes, she was blushing. Blushing, like a pure eastern Pakistani girl is supposed to blush.
Mrs.Hasan looked equally pleased at her reaction.
" I'm delighted, delighted. " Mrs.Hasan was beaming from ear to ear.
She lost her words. She had never felt this kind of shyness. Redness coloured her cheeks, her lashes suddenly felt so heavy that she had to close them for a while.
" Oh, Ammi, I think Sameer is waiting for me there. " Grinning with shyness and still keeping her eyes low, she went out.
" Oh Allah, " She said to herself as her breaths grew normal. " What happened to me !!! " She smiled.
On her way to the kitchen, she saw another room. It's door was open. Though it was against her ethics, but the beauty of the well-furnished and well-decorated room made her change her mind as she entered the room. It was Sameer's room, she realized as she glanced at his big framed-portrait hanging over the wall. It was not a bed-room in real sense, as besides a bed and attached bath, it also had a study table, few chairs and a computer.
She glanced around, silently praising Sameer's choice even in little things too. She was about to turn back when some thing caught her eyes. Completely lost in the trance of what she saw, she moved towards the partially open cupboard. As she neared the cupboard to open its door completely, she saw it was a picture of a cute, attractive girl. The smiling girl hardly looked more than twenty-five.
She must be Kisa, Sameer's wife. Despite of the fact that Kiran had never seen her in real, she had no difficulty in recognizing Kisa when she compared the picture with the image she had in her mind, the image which she had formed after what Mrs.Hasan and Sameer had told her about Kisa.
Praising the beauty of this long-haired girl, she lifted the picture from the shelf to observe it more closely. Only then she realized there was some other picture present behind it. Unable to control her curiosity, she straightened it and gasped.
Kiran had never seen such a beautiful face. So much innocence, so much loveliness, such a fabulous grace, and yet she didn't look more than a teenager.
Infact, Kiran decided, She was just like a big doll, so cute, so fragile and yet so alive. For some unknown reason, her face looked familiar to her. She wondered where she had seen her and then sighed.
Yes, she now knew why this girl looked so much familiar. Her face was very much similar to Saba's.
" So, you are Kashish !!! " Kiran breathed, then slowly placed both the pictures back on their original position.
Sameer was bending over the frying pan to give the golden puffy eggs another look, when he heard Kiran's voice.
She was calling Saba.
" She's here. " Sameer said. " Wait for us at the dining table, break fast is ready. We'd be there in a minute. "
He scooped Saba up and carried her to the table.
Kiran was waiting for her with her arms spread wide. She took Saba gently from him and saw him cleaning the table.
" Hey, can I help ? " She asked him, kissing the top of baby's head.
" Na na, you're guest here " He gave her a bit naughty smile
" Ahaan, that's interesting " She caressed Saba's hair softly.
In his next round, he carried the tray which contained tea cups, and the tea-pot. Bread, jam, milk and juices were already present at the table.
When he turned for his last round, Kiran couldn't keep herself silent any more.
" Oh God, Sameer, what else's remained now ? "
" Omelets, " He called back. He turned back to the stove, cut off the heat, and served the omelet up on two plates he'd set on the sideboard.
" So, janaab, how're you this morning. " Sameer smiled as he took his chair opposite to hers. " Hey, you didn't start to eat ? "
" I'm fine. " She ruffled Saba's hair, as the baby girl sat in her lap, drinking the milk from her bottle.
" I already had a big heavy breakfast before I left for your home." She told him. " I ate ' Paraatha and poori '
" Oh yes, that sure is heavy " Sameer laughed lightly, as he slowly gulped his tea.
Though he insisted alot, she hardly ate anything.
The rest of the breakfast was silent, with both of them silently searching for the right words to begin.
" No no, don't do that. " He tried to stop her as she began to clear the empty plates and dishes from the table.
But she didn't pay any attention. While he nibbled the last slice of toast, she cleared the whole table and stacked the dishes in the sink.
After the breakfast, Sameer handed Saba to his mother, then came to stand at the door of his kitchen. There she was, working so "un-formally".
The sight of her working like this in his own home, so casually, so usually, fascinated him. He didn't know why.
The sight was wonderful. She made it even more attractive by what she wore at the moment.
She wore a light pink, printed kurta shilwar of Georgette. A big, broad V-shaped red dupatta covered her gracefully.
He knew these outfits would be cute on her, but he just didn't realize how cute.
" So you're wearing these eastern cloths just in Pakistan or ? " He couldn't help himself asking, though left his question unfinished, as if to see her response first.
" Yes. I'm so proud, I have stopped wearing western cloths since the last couple of years. No cheap masculine cloths, no jeans, not sick trousers." She turned to him for a second, smiled, then resumed her work.
" Wow, I'm impressed. So what do you wear then ? "
" I usually prefer Saarhi, though it is not purely islamic either but it's far better than cheap english cloths. Other than that, I like Kurta shilwars. " She said, fixing the glasses in the stand. She had impressed him, she couldn't believe her fortune.
" I'm sure it's been a long and tough way for you. " Sameer wondered.
" Yeah. Initially, it sure was tough. People tried to make fun of me. But I didn't give a damn. No one else lives his or her life for me, why should I care ?" Kiran turned back to the sink, finished rinsing the dishes, and then put them in the dish washer.
" I really appreciate you for that . "
" You know Sameer, before I met you, I always wondered if a man existed who didn't mentally undress a girl when he first met her. " She said, drying the remaining dishes, then putting them in a kitchen stand.
" Really ? Well alhumdolillah there are many men like me who don't view women in that respect. I'm not the only one like that. " Sameer crossed his arms over his chest, still standing at the doorway of the kitchen.
" Well, may be you're right. But I've now realized that it's us ' women ' who give men chances to do so, revealing our bodies. " She replied.
" Well " Atlast done with the kitchen job, she turned back to face him once again. " Shall we go now ? "
" Sure " He left door for her and followed her to the living room.
" So, how's your thesis going ? " He asked with a long breath.
He had now gone to stand by the open window, and his features were etched against the bright, shiny sun-light. A broad forehead of an intellectual--- a comparison heightened by the thin-rimmed spectacles that were as much as part of him as the silver encircling his wrist, the slimmest watch in the world. His nose, like his charecter was firm and unyielding, chin and mouth equally determined. A man not to be taken lightly, she decided again.
" Pretty fine, thank you. I'm gathing more information about the social and cultural problems ."
" Problems in Pakistan ? " He asked, not turning to her yet.
" Problems don't exist in Pakistan only. We asians living abroad have our own kind of problems. "
" Like what ? " Though he knew those problems, but for some reason he wanted to know her own, personal point of view.
" Like brought-up of children in an Islamic and eastern atmosphere, which's very tough out there. " She told him. " Plus marriage. Most ' Aunts ' over there have fixed double standards for this, they're playing with their children's emotions. I have seen such ' Aunts ' insulting Pakistan and its people but when their "American" sons grow up, they search girls from Pakistan for them, ignoring us girls living there. Such guys and their moms are kidding us, making us fool. "
Sameer couldn't believe his ears. It was ' Kiran ' who was pointing out all these bitter facts and social draw backs of western society with respect to Pakistanis.
" We have been told that Pakistani men are chauvinists. As a result, now some of us gals are suffering from this so called Paki-male syndrome. " She added.
" Sounds like you've thoroughly researched the subject " Sameer said with pure interest. " But why do you talk about girls only ?
" Because I personally think that the role of a woman is more important than man's regarading the new generation and their future. If we want better human beings, we would have to make good mothers first. " Kiran talked confidently. That was her hall mark, she never seemed to lose her confidence regardless of the time, place and the subject.
" I absolutely agree " Sameer nodded in agreement.
" It's a silent, secret conspiracy against the Pakistani girls growing up in the west, and mainly their own parents are responsible for that. Our brains have been washed. We have been taught that Pakistani men are narrow minded, rude and arrogant. " Kiran said softly, despire of the seriousness of the matter, her tone was still very calm and gentle.
" But that doesn't apply as a rule, not all families are like that " Sameer raised a valid point on the subject.
" Ofcourse all fingers are not alike, and this is not the case with every family living there. But it's still the fact that their number is increasing day by day."